Merry Christmas Eve from The Maple's @ The Sea Ranch!!
Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through the ship
Not a wee one was sleeping, not one bleeping bit.
The pillage bags hung by the plank with such style
Awaiting the plunder from the Christmas Crocodile.
The trudgers and slugnaughts cinched down in thar bags
Bits of burlap, potatoes and pillows of rags.
The captain all settled in the crows nest up high.
Nodding off for a moment, I’d just shut my eye.
When all of a sudden, the ocean was crashin’
I shot 4 feet up hollering, “ARRGGG It’s THE KRAKEN!”
Down the rope I dove, with my hands holding tight
Drawing me blunderbuss out to fire in the night!
A mermaid jumped aboard and I bout lost my hook
My sea wifey too, burst out for a look
And what to me singular eye did I spot?
The Christmas Crocodile just pulled up to dock.
Aye, it was him, and he moved like the wind.
8 ship lengths tall, and a quadruple double chin.
He dove through the water, and made not a splash
Then he soared high and belly flopped down with a crash!
“Now Sea Star! Now Fishey! Now Squid Ink and Salty!
On, Bubbles! On, Kelp Face! On Octo and Ralphy!
Hip hop now I say, From the stem to the stern!
Spring up your soggy tails, go off, turn and burn!
The sea horses flew, like comets in the sky
Jumping and darrrting between stars as they fly
Splish splash up they flew, to the crow’s nest and hovered
All dressed up in lights, from head to toe they were covered.
The Christmas Crocodile, I watched all aghast
While the horses all jingled from the bells on their clasps.
I lifted me patch, so both eyes could see
And the Christmas Crocodile, smiled down upon me!
He was dressed all in green, from his tail to his snout.
His garb like aged cooper and he smelled like sea trout.
A barrel of rum was flung down from his long scaly tail
And another ten of barrels of flagon, of mead and of ale!
His teeth how they shimmered! His smile was so merry!
His clip clopping peg leg, made him so much less scary.
His long ribbed snout, rolled like a cinnamon twist
He had naught a white beard, but had fiery breath!
The trunk of a tree, as a pipe in his teeth
Smoked like a steam engine, above the sea and beneath.
He wore a kind face, and a belt 10 feet high
His laugh bellowed out and quaked through the sky!
His white belly bulged, like a splendid parfait
And I broke out in laughter when he gazed over my way
He gave me a snort and a twitch of his tail
He waved up his finger, and lifted the sails.
He didn’t say much and hummed while he darted
A Yo-Ho merry tune, to the old bags he started!
And then he was done and with a flick of his pipe
He soared straight up, into the starry lit night!
His sea horses sprang forth from the crest of a wave
And away they climbed gladly, looking sharp as a shave.
A rumble came through, and I thought it was thunder
“Happy Christmas to ARRR, and to ARRR a good plunderrrr!!!!”
Love, Jonathan Tara and Declan